Abduct a cow, now!

25 09 2008


well animated, though 🙂


Newly-discovered bizarre ant

17 09 2008

New Ancient

King Arthur, Lancelot and The Witch

16 09 2008

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the Kingdom >>for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur’s question thus: “What a woman really wants?” She said, “Is to be in charge of her own life.” Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half. “Which would you prefer? She asked him. “Beautiful during the day … or at night?”

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy with?

(If you are a man reading this…) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this?) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT… make YOUR choice before you read on any further.

Made your choice? Go on…

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Moral of the story :

1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don’t let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly

Bull shit has got a valuable meaning

16 09 2008

Because it may have turned in the latest weapon in the fight against global warming.

The Walford and North Shropshire Agricultural College farm already uses methane from the dung discarded by its dairy herd to get power. The herd is housed for eight months a year and the shit is collected and pumped into a digester, where it is converted into methane and used to power a generator. The amount of energy produced is enough to run the farm. “Everything that comes out of the back end of an animal goes in [the digester]. We actually get enough energy to supply the farm’s electricity for a year”, said Adrian Joynt, farm manager.

“If you are going to put food in one end of the cow, we have to accept what comes out of the other. It’s about what we do with it.”

“We can either spread it on the field or we can put it through this digester and get the methane gas out of it.”

The methane producing digester not only provides electricity, but it also decreases the methane emissions. Methane accounts for around 7% of the UK’s greenhouse gas emissions, and about 25 % of it comes from the ruminant livestock, cattle and sheep. “Anaerobic digestion is a great idea – not least because manure from animals is also a major cause of water pollution”, said Roger Higman, of the ecological association Friends of the Earth.

The digester works by collecting the cow’s dung, in liquid form, which is then pumped into an airtight tank and heated to a temperature of 35C (95F), at which methane producing bacteria are most efficient. The methane produced feeds an engine attached to a generator which produces electricity.

The heat resulted from burning the gas is used to warm the cow dung to the level required by the bacteria. The ecological technology is used at more than 1,000 farms in Germany, but only very few in the UK, and, of course, is efficient in conditions of intensive cattle farming.