Abduct a cow, now!

25 09 2008


well animated, though 🙂


Theft vs. Filesharing

25 09 2008

Ready.gov and its parody

16 09 2008

The US Government has this specia site:


and some one is making fun of it:



Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. The current world record is 5 minutes, 12 seconds.

and this one is really something:

Watch out for people who come out of white tents and try to steal the shirt off your back.

Great web design for ready.gov, though… 🙂

King Arthur, Lancelot and The Witch

16 09 2008

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the Kingdom >>for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered. Arthur’s question thus: “What a woman really wants?” She said, “Is to be in charge of her own life.” Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half. “Which would you prefer? She asked him. “Beautiful during the day … or at night?”

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy with?

(If you are a man reading this…) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this?) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT… make YOUR choice before you read on any further.

Made your choice? Go on…

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Moral of the story :

1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don’t let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly

Bull shit has got a valuable meaning

16 09 2008

Because it may have turned in the latest weapon in the fight against global warming.

The Walford and North Shropshire Agricultural College farm already uses methane from the dung discarded by its dairy herd to get power. The herd is housed for eight months a year and the shit is collected and pumped into a digester, where it is converted into methane and used to power a generator. The amount of energy produced is enough to run the farm. “Everything that comes out of the back end of an animal goes in [the digester]. We actually get enough energy to supply the farm’s electricity for a year”, said Adrian Joynt, farm manager.

“If you are going to put food in one end of the cow, we have to accept what comes out of the other. It’s about what we do with it.”

“We can either spread it on the field or we can put it through this digester and get the methane gas out of it.”

The methane producing digester not only provides electricity, but it also decreases the methane emissions. Methane accounts for around 7% of the UK’s greenhouse gas emissions, and about 25 % of it comes from the ruminant livestock, cattle and sheep. “Anaerobic digestion is a great idea – not least because manure from animals is also a major cause of water pollution”, said Roger Higman, of the ecological association Friends of the Earth.

The digester works by collecting the cow’s dung, in liquid form, which is then pumped into an airtight tank and heated to a temperature of 35C (95F), at which methane producing bacteria are most efficient. The methane produced feeds an engine attached to a generator which produces electricity.

The heat resulted from burning the gas is used to warm the cow dung to the level required by the bacteria. The ecological technology is used at more than 1,000 farms in Germany, but only very few in the UK, and, of course, is efficient in conditions of intensive cattle farming.

The Office Boy

16 09 2008

A jobless man applied for the position of “office boy” at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor
As a test.

“You are employed.” He said.” Give me your e-mail address and I’ll
Send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may

The man replied “But I don’t have a computer, neither an email.”

I’m sorry”, said the HR manager, “If you don’t have an email, that
Means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.”

The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with
Only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and
Buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door
Round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital.
He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go
Everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled
Every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his
Own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the
US .

He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the
Conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man
Replied, “I don’t have an email”. The broker answered
Curiously, “You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build
An empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an

The man thought for a while and replied, “Yes, I’d be an office boy
At Microsoft!”

The Boss: A Moral Story

16 09 2008

Junior Software engineer, a senior Software engineer
and their Project Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through
a park,they come across a wonder lamp.They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says, “Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you
are three, I will allow one wish each”.

So the eager Junior Software engineer shouted, I want the first wish. I
want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no
worries.”Pfufffff, and he was gone.

Now the Senior Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted ”
I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.”Pfufffff,
and he was also gone.

The Project Manager calmly said,” I want these two idiots back in
the office after lunch at 2.00pm”

Moral of the story is :
Always try to hear the other person out.